An essay by Bruce, a Memory Cafe participant
It was about 20 months ago when an annual physical exam involving a brain scan revealed I had had a mild stroke. Further testing determined a diagnosis of vascular dementia. Prior to that scan I lived a generally healthy life. The dementia led to changes.
A friend of mine who had earlier had a similar diagnosis, had begun recently attending “the Memory Café of the Red River Valley.” I was invited and other friends and family encouraged me to attend.
My life work had involved a lot of contact and interaction with crowds of people.
I assumed that retirement would involve more isolation and less visiting. Not so! I soon learned that my new partner (dementia) is best treated with the opposite of isolation.
Crawling into a hole is not best treatment for the wounded brain. The “Memory Café” provides a better treatment!
This treatment is in no way a “hard pill to swallow.” A small but growing group of people who share the same “partner” gather every Monday morning. After a half hour of light exercise, we gather into smaller groups for fellowship. There we learn the various effects of our common “partner”.
We have time to share our common experiences, fears, tears, and laughs. Even the most quiet, stoic person may break a laugh.
Without pressure or awkwardness, the café aims for an atmosphere where honesty regarding our “partner” brings a camaraderie greater even than mere friendship.
The workers and volunteers at Cafe are there to meet us, warmly greet us by name, introduce newcomers, and patiently direct us to our room to keep each of us welcome and unrattled. Other Cafe activities apart from these gatherings are also arranged regularly for members who desire. I have acquired new friends and have also been convinced that many of these friends share a common faith.
I’m grateful that Memory Café has opened a new life for me. Thank you to you who make it possible. You, friend, are invited to swallow this pill and live.